Jam me up, and I’ll coin a term then turn you into a cautionary tale—just like the Karen who works for my landlord and threatened to not renew my lease on some racish bs.

Somehow, Halloween got even more absurd than the 6–7 craze sweeping the nation.

I won’t let President Trump starve me out and keep me down. Because I would really, really love to stick around.

Just like that, the Trump Administration cut off SNAP benefits, the formal name for food stamps, leaving 42 million people scrambling to eat.

The writing’s on the wall, yet folk act like they can’t read. Now I know how Noah must’ve felt.

So many folks rail against corporatism while quietly profiting from it…(Ja Rule voice) “Oh I’m, feelin’ like ya livin’ a…double life.”

Till I collapse corporatism, I’m spillin’ these j’essays as long as you feel ‘em.

Like my man MJ, I’m starting with the man in the mirror and asking him to change his ways. Sha’mone!

Don’t wait for Queen Bey to upgrade u. Partner, let me show you how to upgrade yo’self.

What started off as a fun family geocaching outing ended with my oldest boy and me hunting my youngest down like Gary Busey and a host of B-movie baddies hunted down Ice T in the '90s camp classic, Surviving the Game.

An impromptu roadie with a dear friend and two new ones who busted out of prison had me dreaming of British pub fare. 

I slipped and fell on a hike with my kids— and landed on a semi-coherent theory of this three-dimensional experience we’re sharing.

Devil’s Kitchen is a geological feature Jodi and I visited on a stomp in Sedona. It’s so-named because a meteorite containing “magic” mushrooms infused with the DNA of ancient aliens landed there tens of thousands of years ago, and the devil—so the legend goes—fed the mushrooms to our prehistoric ancestors, unlocking consciousness in our species. I can’t back up any of that rubbish—but I do believe something like that happened somewhere in the world. 

Sometimes my youngest son stays in his feelings like Drake after getting dunked on by Kendrick in a rap beef.

If they say, “Why…why does he do me that way?” tell ‘em that it’s human nature.

My wife and I had a blast joshing around in Joshua Tree.

Chris Tucker goes crazy in The Fifth Element. Don’t we all?

I scoffed when Kanye West claimed bass-heavy music was mind control. Now I embrace his wisdom—and plan to follow his lead in influencing White House policy.

The classic Nintendo Entertainment System’s reset button was my third-best friend growing up as a hotheaded youth in the 80s, right behind my dudes Jesse and J.J.

Unlike sistas Tigra and Bunny, the forty-five-year-old version of me sharing this three-dimensional experience with you does not like cars, especially not the ones that go boom.